Monday, July 15, 2013

Sappy Anniversary Post

You have been forewarned, this will be a sappy anniversary post.

13 years ago today, I made the best decision of my life and married my best friend. To put it lightly, we had a rough start with marriage. I came into this marriage with some baggage and living with a boy came as quite a shock to me. The first time my husband left the toilet seat up I literally broke down in tears. That first year was rough.

We had only been married five months when we found out we were expecting our first of many babies. Once we started having babies, apparently we didn't know how to stop; we had our first three kids in under three years. That was a wild and crazy adventure in itself.

We have been through so much together in our short 13 years. We have had sickness and health, financial successes and losses, lots of sleepless nights with babies, college and many late nights working; we've shared laughter and tears, heartbreaks and joys; and I can think of no one better to share it with than my sweet husband.

He is my favorite person to be with and he wants nothing more than to just make me happy. He inspires me in so many ways to be a better person and I am still completely head over heels for this guy. He still makes me laugh and I still get excited to just be with him.

Now, before you think I am trying to say we are perfect I am going to stop you. We are anything but perfect, we don't fight (anymore), but we each still have our short comings. It's about focusing on the good stuff and not worrying about the annoying stuff. 

Because of my parents' divorce I didn't have the best example of what a good or happy marriage should look like. Because of that I have had to study a lot of it out on my own. When we had been married for about five years someone suggested this book, The 5 Love Languages. It started a change within us for the better. I highly recommend it.

Then several years later someone suggested another book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Whether or not you like Dr. Laura this is an EXCELLENT book. It completely changed everything for us, for the better. 

So, to end my sappiness I want to include my top ten tips on having a happy marriage.

1. Don't be selfish- Put the other person's needs in front of your own. Take a leap of faith that by doing so your needs will be met too.

2. Date your spouse- Do the fun or cute things you used to do when you were dating. 

3. Take care of yourself- I'm not saying you have to attempt to be a super model, but try to eat good and exercise, put on a little make-up (or at least deodorant), and get ready for your spouse.

4. Leave notes for each other- This one is beyond easy and makes such a big difference. You can text, instant message, email, Facebook, or even go old school and write an actual note letting your spouse know you love them, you're grateful for them, or just to let them know you still think they are sexy.

5. Support your spouse's hobbies and interests- Pretty self-explanatory, but when your spouse has a hobby, support them in it. Every Saturday morning for about 8-9 years I went running, and my husband was always happy to support me in doing it. Not only that but a lot of times I would come home to a big breakfast waiting for me. And because he is so great to do that I am more than happy to support him if he wants to go hiking or whatever he would like to do. 

6. Be available, if you know what I mean...- My mom uses about 5 weird slang terms for sex that I think are funny. But whatever you want to call it, make time for some "Vote Vote Vodedote"; intimacy is important and awesome.

7. Learn your spouses Love Language- That was the first book I mentioned, it made a HUGE difference for us. I am a touch love language and my husband is a words of affirmation type. We weren't speaking the same language in the beginning and we would end up frustrated or even hurt. Learn their language, and then "speak" it.

8. Respect your spouse- If your spouse is uncomfortable with something or asks for something, respect them and listen. For example, if your spouse is really uncomfortable with calling each other pet names in front of other people, DON'T do it and DON'T force them to do it either! Easy as that.

9. Talk positively about your spouse to others- Remember in Bambi this simple tip, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all".

10. Relax and have fun- Quit worrying about the small stuff; if it won't matter in a week or two, it doesn't matter. Just relax and enjoy just being with each other.

So to my sweet Johnny, I love you and am very grateful you picked me to be yours. Happy anniversary!!


  1. It was our anniversary this weekend too.... lucky 13 here as well! Congratulations! Your story echoes mine in so many ways. We had a rough start; baby #1 the week after our first anniversary, baby #2 a month after our second anniversary... you get the idea. :) Congrats on 13 years, may the LORD give you many many more!

  2. Happy anniversary! I'll be sure to speak your "language" the next time I see you ;)

  3. Happy {late} anniversary! 3 babies in 3 years! That was probably really hard at the time, but I bet as they get older, it's really great! My husband I both have the same love language: acts of service. It's quite convenient that we both feel loved in the same way.